Why didn’t you take my advice?

//Why didn’t you take my advice?

Why didn’t you take my advice?

As human beings, we like to be experts and give advice to friends and loved ones. But it isn’t personal when the person does not take your advice. I do come across many people who get upset when another person does not take their advice. I can understand this to some degree but on the other had it doesn’t quite make sense.
You can give people your input about what you think would be helpful for them to do. You can share your life experience with them. However, it is ultimately up to that person to make their own decision about what they’re going to do. As much as you want to help, they might not listen to you and you have to accept that or just continue to feel frustrated about them not listening to you, it’s your choice.
You cannot force someone to take your sage wisdom. that’s just not how it works. They are going to make their own choices regardless of your input, and it’s not a personal affront if they don’t do what you told them to do.
Even therapists and counselors can be offended or have their ego impacted when their clients do not follow their recommendations. I’ve seen this happen with school counselors especially because they believe they know what’s best for their students. When the student doesn’t follow their guidance they get upset. We are all human beings and we have the ability to assess situations and then make decisions accordingly. I think it’s silly for therapists to be offended if a client does not take their guidance because it isn’t about the therapist. It is about the clients’ readiness to follow a treatment plan or not. As my therapist said, if the client can’t do the homework, it’s time to switch gears. They didn’t fail, it just isn’t working for them. That made a ton of sense to me.
If somebody doesn’t take my advice sometimes I get frustrated. Because I spend a lot of time caring about people. And if I disagree with what they have chosen to do it can be hard to watch them. Especially if I feel like their behavior is going to be harmful to them. But people need to be able to make their own mistakes and learn from them.
I have been on the other side of this and had people give me advice that I did not take. It’s not that I didn’t appreciate what they were trying to tell me. I  had a different perspective and I came to another conclusion. I still appreciated the person giving me their perspective and guidance because it was meaningful to me.
Finding our way in life is challenging and we try to help one another by advising each other. It’s natural to want to give advice when you see your friend struggling. But if they don’t take it it isn’t about you just remember that. I have to remind myself of this as well, you are not alone.
By | 2017-11-29T04:01:47+00:00 November 29th, 2017|Uncategorized|0 Comments

About the Author:

Sarah Fader is the CEO and Founder of Stigma Fighters, a non-profit organization that encourages individuals with mental illness to share their personal stories. She has been featured in The New York Times, The Washington Post, The Atlantic, Quartz, Psychology Today, The Huffington Post, HuffPost Live, and Good Day New York.

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