Just Say Thank You; When People Don’t Appreciate Me It Pisses Me Off

//Just Say Thank You; When People Don’t Appreciate Me It Pisses Me Off

Just Say Thank You; When People Don’t Appreciate Me It Pisses Me Off

When people don’t appreciate me it pisses me off. I know this is a natural human reaction, but I probably feel it more intensely because I am an extremely giving person. When I develop friendships I commit myself 100 percent to helping the people I love. It comes second nature to me to appreciate others because that’s how I wanted to be treated too. I recognize that not everyone operates this way, and that’s because all people are unique and different. However, when I go out of my way to do something kind for someone I would like that person to simply say “thank you.” Dude, “thank you,” is two words that we learned when we were toddlers if our parents taught us manners. And if we grew up in dysfunctional households, we still have heard those words other places, like at a restaurant when your food comes, for example, you say thank you to the watron (that is the gender non-specific word for the server). I learned it at sleepaway camp because we had jobs in the dining hall, which included serving food to our tent-mates.

“Thank you,” is an important phrase that we all need to learn as people. If someone does something kind for you, just say fucking thank you. It’s not that difficult and the other person will feel so appreciated. It could be that I’m hyper-sensitive and maybe other people don’t care so much about the words “thank you.” However, we could all benefit from some gratitude. It doesn’t cost any money to say “thank you,” when another person does something kind for you like hold the door for example. So try being more aware when other people are doing nice things for you and say “thank you.” Yeah, I am telling you what to do, because I am a neurotic Jewish mother who has been mistakenly labeled as “pushy,” when the correct word for me is actually “tenacious.” I am an amazing woman who tries to change the world. So when you say “thank you,” to me for helping you open a bottle of spaghetti sauce, I will be so happy. You’ve actually made my day in fact. It’s not that I want a big display of gratitude or anything particular back in return when I do something kind, I just want to be acknowledged and I know that that is completely reasonable. When someone takes my kindness for granted it makes me angry and resentful and not want to do nice things for them because there is no acknowledgment of what I’ve done. I would feel validated and recognized with those two small words: “thank you.”

So thank you. Thank you for reading this blog post and for understanding the fact that words and self-expression are important to me. I hope that you feel similarly about gratitude, but if you don’t I accept that too! Maybe you don’t need someone to say “thank you.” Maybe you just need someone to return the favor. What about you? Do you like being appreciated?

By | 2018-01-02T01:12:35+00:00 January 2nd, 2018|Uncategorized|0 Comments

About the Author:

Sarah Fader is the CEO and Founder of Stigma Fighters, a non-profit organization that encourages individuals with mental illness to share their personal stories. She has been featured in The New York Times, The Washington Post, The Atlantic, Quartz, Psychology Today, The Huffington Post, HuffPost Live, and Good Day New York.

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