I’m Not An Extrovert So Stop Calling Me One!

//I’m Not An Extrovert So Stop Calling Me One!

I’m Not An Extrovert So Stop Calling Me One!

People assume that I am an extrovert. According to the Myers-Briggs test that I’ve taken, I am not. I am an introverted individual and fall under the category of INFP. You can learn more about what that means by taking the test yourself, but I’m intuitive and empathetic and I help people get in touch with their own feelings. I can do this because I am in touch with my own. I have an emotional insight for better for worse.  I am married to my sensitivity and it helps me get through my life. For a long time, I was in denial about my sensitive nature. Being introverted and sensitive is a brutal combination for me.  It can be hard having these two qualities. Because I am a highly sensitive person,  it can be draining when I don’t implement proper boundaries. When people see me being wacky, fun and charismatic they assume that I am an extrovert but I’m not. I find being around people to be draining because I have to be “on “all the time. I don’t want to be like that. I want to have a light switch in my brain that I can turn off so I can decompress, hang out, read blog posts, books and watch Netflix for crying out loud.

People, stop calling me an extrovert when human beings make me exhausted. Come on! I’ll admit, it’s probably confusing to people when I have this big personality and feel entirely comfortable rocking out on stage acting or singing. I love to be loud and passionate about words and music. But I am actually a quiet person unless there’s someone around me who makes me feel comfortable enough to be raucous. Another thing is that people are not all one way all the time. We can feel shy at times or theatrical or even histrionic. By the way, histrionic is one of my favorite words. I think of Victorian women fainting.

My performance background is the thing that confuses most people and makes them believe that I am an extrovert. I’m not sure why this assumption is made. There are so many actors out there who have stage fright or are extremely shy. I consider myself to be one of those individuals. You can be a private person and still appear to be animated and extroverted to those around you. When I act on stage, I use the deepest darkest parts of myself that I’d rather not reveal to others. I take them and I hand them to the audience without explanation. They can consume them or discard them. My hope is that my emotions and message will help at least one person.

It’s not so black and white. We are not all shy or all extroverted. One day I might be bouncing off the walls singing to myself while walking down the street and another day I could be hiding in my bedroom crying under the covers. It’s unpredictable and I believe that part of that dichotomy has to do with my introversion. So, what about you? Are you an introvert that people mistake for an extrovert?

By | 2018-04-08T09:50:12+00:00 April 8th, 2018|Uncategorized|Comments Off on I’m Not An Extrovert So Stop Calling Me One!

About the Author:

Sarah Fader is the CEO and Founder of Stigma Fighters, a non-profit organization that encourages individuals with mental illness to share their personal stories. She has been featured in The New York Times, The Washington Post, The Atlantic, Quartz, Psychology Today, The Huffington Post, HuffPost Live, and Good Day New York.